He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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