It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
