One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the day after is always just damage control
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
