if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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