I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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