There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
