he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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