What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
