So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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