Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
