...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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