Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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