dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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