Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
