Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
