please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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