remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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