I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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