So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
