I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
