I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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