I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
