it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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