I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
