Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
