I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
