nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just gift wrapped bread.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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