The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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