Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
