first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Randomize
