Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
