ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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