i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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