The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
