gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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