hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
