Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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