I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
