did you get engaged???
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
