I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
