why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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