I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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