R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just high enough for therapy.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
