He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I love you. Go after that dick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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