Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This is the high leading the old right now
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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