Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
