i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
