Sry I called you an 8
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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