I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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