Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
