if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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