So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
