weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
