we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
