i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
zippers are such a cool invention
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
