So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
