He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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