On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
