Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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