Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
