Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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