3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
