i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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