i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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