There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
